Deconstructing Jen

and so it begins

Today I got a call I dread. Every time my cell rings when I'm at school I hold my breath a little before I answer it. No one calls to just chat when I'm at school. If my cell rings it's an emergency. And today was no different.

12:35 I look at my phone. 1 missed call. Babysitter.

Crap.

I skip the voicemail and just call her back. Ben has a fever. Again. 102 this time, last week it was only 100. Crap.

I can't leave and thankfully Mom is home. (Thanks again, by the way.) Mom, pretty please can you go get my sick kid? Again.

Call the pediatricians office. Chat with the very nice appointment clerk that happens to know my voice and first name. (This is not a good thing, people, not a good thing.) Whew, a cancelation means they can get Ben in within the hour.

Oxygen level is 95. Not great. Not horrible. Thankfully it doesn't mean a trip to the hospital. We hang for a bit and I teach Ben all the names of the Star Wars characters that adorn the walls. After about 5 minutes he can easily identify Yoda and keeps giggling as he points to the crotch of the life sized Darth Vader wall cling.

In comes Dr. Y. If I haven't mentioned already, he rocks. He has his customary medical student with him. Yes, it's okay if she comes in. I know Ben is one of his favorite patients to show off when he has a medical student. He's got loads of good teaching fodder to go over. We play 20 questions for bit. I pass with flying colors. The med student, not so much. We chit chat and then get down to business.

He listens to his chest for an awfully long time. Long enough to make me nervous. I know better than to ask when he's listening but dang is it hard not to.

Pneumonia.

CRAP!

Mega antibiotics, more breathing treatments, call him at home if he gets worse. (See I TOLD you he was awesome.) Ben sits on his lap for awhile and hugs him when we leave.

School hasn't even started yet and it's starting. He's already getting sick. And the seed has been planted in my head. Am I doing the right thing by keeping my teaching job or am I doing the selfish thing? No one put that question on me, it just popped in my head about 2 hours ago. I want to work. I won't lie. I like it and I think it makes me a better mom. But is it hurting Ben? Would he be healthier if I stayed home with him? I really can't know the answers but it's bugging me tonight and I think I've got some soul searching ahead of me.

flying solo

Chris left this morning for a two week photography shoot in LA. The kids and I are going to be flying solo for a while. To ease the transition we spent a good portion of today out of the house at a local park and at Costco.

I don't know about you but there's something about a 3 pound bag of pistachios and economy sized peanut butter that just beckon to be purchased. Today we picked up footie jammies for Ben (because HELLO they were only $7.00 a pair), t.p. (really, I can't live in a house without 42 back up rolls of t.p.), Diet Dr. Pepper, 500 disinfecting wipes (we have toddlers) and Kleenex for my classroom (because oddly enough the school doesn't provide it and I don't like blowing my nose on the sandpaper we call paper towels) .

What did we do with the rest of the day? Well Chris's parents graciously provided us with sustenance at a local pizzeria and then we bribed the kids to an early bed time with ice cream and another trip to the park.

Here are some shots from the park, courtesy of my phone so the quality is a bit shady. Ben has discovered the slides and is a bit of a fiend for them now.

spagetti monster

The reason pasta night always equals bath night.

pulling a fast one

It appears that the alien kid snatchers that I spoke so highly of last week pulled a fast one on me. It seems that while they abducted the old Ben and left me a new shiny eating model they also snatched my well behaved 4 year old daughter and left a very dysfunctional tantrum throwing one behind. And this one is broken. Seriously. Malfunctioning. As a matter of fact with her mood swings she makes PMS look like an all expenses paid trip to Tahiti. One minute screaming, hyperventilating, crying. Next minute grins and giggles. I about got whiplash today, her moods changed so fast. I thought this wasn't supposed to happen for about 9 more years.

 

'tis no toddler, 'tis an eating machine

To the alien baby snatcher who took the old no talking, no walking, no eating Ben and left behind this new and improved, walking, talking, eating machine...you can keep the old one, we'll keep this new model.

Ben EATS. He eats a lot. He eats a variety of things. Wow. I seriously was wondering if this day would ever come.

Ben didn't walk until 18 ½ months. He didn't say his first word until 19 months, not even Mama or Dada. And he didn't start eating, really eating, until Monday. This Monday.

So here is the back story since I didn't have this blog until after this all started (though I have started to try to add it in here). Ben was born 7 weeks early with Wolfe Parkinson White Syndrome. The really short story is that his heart rate was 323 beats per minute on the fateful day I went in for my routine check up at 33 weeks. He was far enough along that this meant c-section. Now. He was born with loads of complications. The short list included organ failure, heart failure, fetal hydrops (defined as abnormal accumulation of fluid in 2 or more fetal compartments – this is BAD and usually fatal), the WPW I mentioned earlier and an Apgar score of 1. Miraculously he only had three lasting complications, the WPW, chronic lung disease (which is bad but not nearly as bad as it sounds), and an extremely sensitive gag reflex as a result of the numerous tubes and ventilators that had been in his throat.

So what does all that mean? It means as Ben grew he had issues with his heart (and while he hasn't had any in a while there is potential for it), he was sick a LOT, and he had trouble eating. When most babies were eating finger foods Ben was eating purees that I made in our blender (you try blending a hot dog or lasagna – it's not pretty). Added to that for what ever reason was a delay in gross motor skills and verbal skills.

As of Monday, Ben is officially normal. Not a spec of delay in sight. Every single thing about him is caught up. Even more astonishing is that he seems to have started to surpass normal to be an over achiever.

In one month he is walking and as of today, running. He spoke his first word and his first sentence “I get it.” He started counting...un, TWO, ee. And his is eating more than my 4 year old at dinner. Tonight he had baked beans (a new favorite for sure), au gratin potatoes (from scratch, none of that box stuff), and peaches.

Holy cow, little man. I can't express how amazed I am at your achievements. You blow me away.

a week in the life #7

So I'll confess to posting this late. Deal with it. Moving on..

So this brings us to the last day of my little week in the life photo montage experiment. Hope it was moderately enjoyable or at least better than a paper cut or getting a splinter. I'm a little sad to see it end (though secretly happy not to feel guilty every time I forget the camera when we leave the house). *Tear*

Oh one other thing....I have a really bad sunburn and I need to whine about it and say OUCH. Now that is done I won't have to say it again, well, unless I move my arms.

So here she is...

Here we go....clockwise.

8 something AM: "So mom when you gonna hook me up with a brother so we can gang up on her?" or alternately "So mom, this is what you get for not getting me that little sister like I asked for. Love ya, Evey."

1:ish PM: Grass. Mowed.

2:30 PM: Dang, can she get any cuter? Seriously.

2:30 something PM: Conquered a few more pages in the book that refuses to be finished. It's getting more interesting though - a few more days at the pool and I should be done.

2:40 something PM: Look at that awesome sky. 80 something degrees, low humidity and sunny - is it really almost July?

3:15ish PM: She could really pull of dreadlocks. Wonder what Chris would think about that?

And the links to the others (or if you are really lazy you could just scroll back a few posts)...

a week in the life vol. 1 (rules found here)
a week in the life vol. 2
a week in the life vol. 3
a week in the life vol. 4
a week in the life vol. 5
a week in the life vol. 6

a week in the life #6

a week in the life vol. 1 (rules found here)
a week in the life vol. 2
a week in the life vol. 3
a week in the life vol. 4
a week in the life vol. 5

Wow! I can't believe I only have 1 day to go!! :D

In time order - you'll be able to figure it out, I'm sure.

8:37 am - strawberries with breakfast
8:43 am - chef in training
8:58 am - hidada (Ben says that as one word repeatedly until Chris picks him up, lol.)
6:17 pm - the lasagna that caused me to make a special trip to the store cause I forgot to check for foil (that's not too long to be a title is it??)
7:10 pm - the 5th time today he emptied the DVD cabinet
7:36 pm - blueberries, yum!

a week in the life #5

a week in the life vol. 1 (rules found here)
a week in the life vol. 2
a week in the life vol. 3
a week in the life vol. 4

left to right, row 1

8:34 am - Elbow and Ben
10:12 am - oyster crackers for Ben
11:11 am - saddling up to head downtown

left to right, row 2
11:27 am - the drive downtown for a tasty lunch with Chris
12:17 pm - the lunch destination
12:19 pm - my lunch order and the best burger I have ever eaten

left to right, row 3
4:47 pm - heavenly smelling banana bread
7:45 pm - goodnight moon
8:14 pm - sidewalk chalk

a week in the life #4

a week in the life vol. 1 (rules found here)
a week in the life vol. 2
a week in the life vol. 3

Clockwise:

8:25 am: how is a mom supposed to resist that face?
9:45 am: ugh, groceries
1:45 pm: look mom, i can stick my whole head in
1:57 pm: it's a rolly polly
2:13 pm: race ya

so there were lots less pics today but that's cause we spent the day mostly at home swimming in the inflatable pool we bought. we had a blast and I took a ton of pics but I didn't want to go crazy with a bunch that looked the same. and cause there is a damn fly that keeps buzzing my head making my computer down time miserable. Off to console myself with Jon Stewart.

a week in the life #3

a week in the life vol. 1 (rules found here)
a week in the life vol. 2

from left to right

row 1:
10:25 am - it's questionable whether or not there are books left at the library
10:47 am - patriotic decorating
10:49 am - trip 3 of an est. 37 to Lowe's (for the house painting)

row 2:
6:28 pm - post swim lessons car ride
7:03 pm - homemade baby food
7:08 pm - bustin' a move

row 3:
8:15 pm - ravioli lasagna
8:22 pm - painting diva
8:25 pm - contemplating how much it costs to hire someone to finish this